Wasting All These Tears
by Blackfeather05
Summary: When Canada's heart was broken he was devastated and alone. But, was that the truth? What will the others have to say and can Canada be fixed? Multi-shot song ficts. Some mature content


**Okay so some of you who have read my stories or have read this story before might be wondering what is going on. Just so you know this will be a almost real story containing multiple chapters each surrounding a song so yeah that's whats up. So enjoy and I will get the next chapter posted soon.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia or any of the songs used**

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><p>Song: Wasting All These Tears<p>

Artist: Cassadee Pope

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><p>'It's been a month now Matthew and you know that he is not coming back. The two of us had just been so in love. How could it have fallen apart? Was it something I did? Was something I might not have said?'<p>

Matthew took a large swig of vodka straight from the bottle and leaned back on the cold tiles of the bathroom floor. Vodka seems to be the only thing that dulls the pain. Though he would never tell anyone, he had the tolerance of the Russian when it came to drinking. This was his third bottle tonight, yet the memories still burned freshly in his mind. There was a sharp rattle from the windows and Matthew jumped upright, glancing at the windows he gave a big sigh before taking another swig from the bottle and staggering to his feet.

'That's right after the break up I guess I just stopped caring. If he were here that would have been taken care of. He also would have started a fire. He was always cold up here. I guess it's my job now. Now that I think about it, it might not be such a bad idea to start a fire.'

_I tried to find you at the bottom of a bottle_

_Laying down on the bathroom floor_

_My loneliness was a rattle in the windows_

_You said you don't want me anymore_

Matthew shuffled out of the bathroom and in to the bedroom that he once shared. Grabbing tightly to the drapes to help himself stay balanced, he leaned down and felt around under the bed. His fingers bumped into a small cardboard after a moment and he stared to pull himself upright the box clutched firmly in his hands. Slowly he made his way through the dark, cold hallways to the fireplace that sits in the small living room. Looking around Matthew can see the memories lighting the space. The two of them playing tag around the couch, having a tickle fight on the ground, even him falling asleep in his lover's arms. He shakes his head vigorously trying to remind himself that he is no longer the one who is sleeping safely in those big, strong, warm arms.

_And you left me_

_Standing on a corner crying,_

_Feeling like a fool for trying_

_I don't even remember_

_Why I'm wasting all these tears on you_

The memories of their time together flood the space and for just a moment they bring a smile back to Matthews face. He squeezes his eyes shut tight.

'He hurt you Matthew remember that. He didn't even have the guts to look you in the eyes when he told you it was over. He does not deserve a smile from you he wasted that privilege. Remember it was him that did the leaving you loved him and he blew it.'

_I wish I could erase our memory_

_Cause you didn't give a damn about me_

_Oh, finally I'm through_

_Wasting all these tears on you_

_These tears on you_

His hands shook as he fumbled with the match box. Taking a deep breath he shook his head again and finally got the match lit. Slowly he placed it into the center of his kindling pile and watched as the fire slowly consumed the dry wood.

'It's kind of like the pain that consumed me after he left.'

He looked down at his shaking hands before clenching them into fists. It's been so many nights now since he has actually slept. Even Ivan noticed last time he delivered vodka to Matthews' house. He had also expressed his concern for his friend drinking so much, but his worries fell on deft ears.

'We started out so perfectly, yet he just stared wanting more and more from me. His demands grew constantly. I'm glad he left. By the end there I felt more like a maid than a lover. I just….. I just don't know how much longer I could have taken it.'

_You ain't worth another sleepless night_

_And I'll do everything I gotta do to get you off my mind_

_Cause what you wanted I couldn't get_

_What you did, boy I'll never forget_

Carefully he lifted the lid off of the small box he had brought from the bedroom and he began thumbing through the pictures. Warmth flowed from the pictures as the memories flowed thought Matthews mind.

'I remember that picture. We had been together for just over a month. There was a rain storm that night so he had stayed here, and I had decided to surprise him with pancakes in the morning. I can't forget the face he made when he came into the kitchen. He was so excited that I was putting in so much effort. He thought I was just so cute standing there in the kitchen covered in flour. And this one, it was our six month anniversary. He had gone out of his way to surprise me with a movie and romantic dinner. God he has watched too many movies. He was so cute with is odd sense of what's romantic.'

Matthew thumbed through the rest of the pictures until he found the two he was looking for. The first one was a picture of their first day together; the second was of their last. He studied them closely. He noticed how their smiles had changed over the time that they were together. To him his smile had gotten more genuine while his lovers had become so fake. Their last day together still burns in his mind, so fresh as if where yesterday.

'We had gone to lunch that day. He was so quiet, I was starting to worry about him. I had only just voiced my concern when he had brightened up and took this picture of us. After that he was much closer to normal. When we had finished he asked to talk to me. We stood there on the corner of the street, he glanced over his shoulder and then took a deep breath. I was just so sure he was going to pop the question, I was ready to say yes but it was not to be. He looked deep into my eyes and in that angelic voice he said "I'm sorry Mattie but I have found someone else. It's not that I don't love you but I am just happier around him. I…. I'm sorry Mattie!" And with that he turned around and walked out of my life and into the arms of a Brit. I don't know how long I sat there and screamed his name, how long I sat there begging for him to return.'

_And you left me_

_Standing on a corner crying_

_Feeling like a fool for trying_

_I don't even remember_

_Why I'm wasting all these tears on you_

_I wish I could erase our memory_

_Cause you didn't give a damn about me_

_Oh, finally I'm through_

_Wasting all these tears on you_

_These tears on you_

Matthew clenched his fist around the pictures before throwing them into the fire. He watched them being consumed, the proof of their time together going up in smoke. Matthew then up turned the box of pictures into the flames and then tossed the box into the fire as well. He watched the pictures burn and wished that the fire could consume the memories just as it consumes the pictures.

_And you left me_

_Standing on a corner crying_

_Feeling like a fool for trying_

_I don't even remember_

_Why I'm wasting all these tears on you_

_I wish I could erase our memory_

_Cause you didn't give a damn about me_

_Oh, finally I'm through_

_Wasting all these tears on you_

_These tears on you_

He watched as the box burned to ashes. Once there was nothing physical left of the memories Matthew took one last swig of vodka before throwing the last fourth of the bottle as hard as he could into the fire. As the sparks flew he tore from the room and grabbing a fresh bottle he retreated to the bathroom once more. Curling up on the floor he sobbed between gulps of vodka.

"I will always love you Alfred," he whispered as smoke started to drift under the door.

_I tried to find you at the bottom of a bottle_

_Laying down on the bathroom floor _


End file.
